flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
