He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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