Your dad touched me again.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
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My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
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I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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