Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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