I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
