I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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