the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
