If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
