can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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