That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize