I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The adults are the big ones right?
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