Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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