He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
