pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize