Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
