My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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