my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
