I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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