why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
