He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
