i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
