I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
