Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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