I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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