ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
