Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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