hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We got so high we made milksteak
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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