He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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