In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
