I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
