if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
