so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
