I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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