Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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