I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
