do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
