I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
