So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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