After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
