i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
