I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I think I am morally bankrupt
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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