you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
