My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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