Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize