Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I stole a fireplace last night.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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