i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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