I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
