Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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