I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
