I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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