there was a trapeze. enough said
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
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Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
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Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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