I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
