The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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