just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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