What a fucking waste of an outfit
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
