At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
