there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
