you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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